Country Of The Free...
Two years later we moved to USA. I began working at a publishing company and worked the "graveyard" shift. That was a wonderful time in my life! While my hands were doing mindless work, my mind was free! This allowed me to spend a lot of time with God.
My relationship with Him improved greatly, I started to truly love and understand Him. He moved me to a different church where God was our Father and friend, not that big scary guy upstairs. My physical life also improved. I learned English within 9 months, lost 50 lb. without going on any particular diet and after 3 months got a position as a Russian Interpreter.
One night something serious happened to our agreement. God told me to fast and asked me to give up The One I was dreaming about. It was a very sad surprise for me... I was losing Her, The One I had in my heart and was praying for all this time! I didn't understand why, it didn't make sense, it was illogical! The only logical explanation I could find for this was that He didn't want me to get married at all. It kind of made sense.
A married person has to commit some time to his/her partner, where unmarried people can commit all of their time to God. It was very painful, but by that time I learned to trust God with everything in my life, so I gave Her up. After a while I got used to the idea of me being a bachelor for life and was actually pretty proud of it! Kind of looking down on all those people that didn't make such a great sacrifice in their lives ;-)
Make Up Your Mind Already!
During a wedding of one of my cousins, I was talking to a friend of mine and I mentioned that God didn't want me to get married, so I was going to be a bachelor. My friend laughed at me and argued that it wasn't so and I didn't understand God. That made me mad! On my way home from work one morning, I told God about that conversation. "Actually I never did tell you that you won't get married," He replied. "What?!" I was shocked and infuriated. "What is that suppose to mean?! So, will I get married or not? If I am going to get married, then what was the point of giving her up?!"
Thoughts were flying through my head at warp speed. I didn't understand, it didn't make sense, I need things to be l-o-g-i-c-a-l! General Protection Faults and Fatal Exception Errors started popping up here and there, silicon inside started melting and after getting the last Blue Screen Of Death, I had to reboot. "OK," I said. "I don't understand this now and in order to keep myself in shape, we will just stick with the old plan. You look for my wife and I will focus on other things, ones that I do better."